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 Idiot Jokes

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jessica joyce

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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:16 pm

tae
pare1: ay may naapakan ako
ay tae
pare2: we tae ba
pare1: tikman natin di masarap tae yan pero pagmasarap yan di yan tae
(tinikman ng dalawa)
silang dalawa: ay tae



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jessica joyce

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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:19 pm

ang hirap kapag kay pedro
teacher: Juan 6+8 ano ang sagot???????????

juan: man 14 po ang sagot.......

teacher: tama very good Juan....

teacher:ikaw naman pedro 1+1??'???

Pedro :pambihira naman kayo mam kapag kay juan madali kapag sa akin mahirap .........isusumbong kita sa nanay ko




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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:33 pm

ano jessica??!?!

anung ndi maka move-on?

ndi ko magets...

maka move-on saan?

lolx!!

wla lng nmn.. nagalingan lng ako sa pasahe eh..
panu ako momove on dun? ahahahah!

prang pinaparinggan lng si aldrin!!

jokes!!
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:46 pm

1 lcing
nkakta ng
mdre n nkaitim
bgla Òang
cnun2k, tndykan
at bnlibag!
Bug2 srd0 ang
mdre, tp0s

2mwa ang lcing
at cnbi

“la k plA bnAtbAt BATMAN e!
Paniizz!”
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:46 pm

ANAK: tay,ano s english ang utot?

ITAY: wind of change

ANAK: eh,ang utot n wlng 2n0g?

ITAY: s0und of silence

ANAK: ang utot n my dlang ebak?

ITAY: dust in the wind

ANAK: eh,ang di cnsadyang utot?

ITAY: iyan ang careless whisper… hahaha
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:47 pm

Juan: pre,bilib tlg ako kay pedro!

Jose: bkit nmn?

Juan: isipin mo,10 siga nilabanan nya,di tinakbuhan!

Jose: wow! San mo nabalitaan?

Juan: sa burol niya.
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:47 pm

PARROT: kpg hnila m 2ng kliwang paa q, kknta q. pg kanan, 22la nmn.
BOY: wow galing nman! e pano pg sbay kung hnila paa u?
PARROT: eh di mahu2l0g n aq tanga!
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:48 pm

SPECIAL PRAYER 4 GMA : ABA Naman GLORIA Puno Ka Na ng GRASYA! Ang YAMAN ng BANSA Ay SUMAIYO Na. Sa HUSAY ni GARCI Naging PEKENG PANGULO Ka! Bukod Kang MANDARAYA sa Babaeng Lahat. PINAGPALA Ring MANGKURAKOT, ASAWA MO’t ANAK. Kaya WALA Ng NATIRA sa AMEN.
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:53 pm

Horse: Mahal na prinsesa,akoy dating prinsipe na isinumpa.
Prinsesa: Ha!! Pag ba hinalikan kita babalik ka sa pagiging prinsipe??
Horse: Malakas ang sumpa,kailangan ch*pa...
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Thu Nov 20, 2008 3:48 pm

heha censored pa wakekek
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:31 pm

gs2 mo todo exposed?

wahahha

bastos eh..

lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:35 pm

PANSARILING SALAWIKAIN BUHAT SA PANAHON NGAYON
NO. 1:
Pag binato ka ng bato BARILIN MU!....
(pesteng taong to...anu akala sau bobo!)



NO. 2:
Ang buhay daw ay parang gulong,
well for me its like a RING.(a gold ring)


NO. 3:
Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan may dipirensya sa tainga....
(BUNGOL!may buog guro?...)

NO. 4:
Ang karukhaan ay syang gabay sa pagpatay...
(nawlan na kasi ng pera....)


NO. 5:
Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, ay mahigit pa sa mabaho at malansang SHARK.
(woahhhhh.....hehehhe)


NO. 6:
Ang umaayaw ay di nagwawagi, ang nagwawagi ay di umaayaw....
(kita nyo na ha? kaya dafat pag hingi ng bf nyo ng kiss wak na keu umayaw, di kayu magwawagi nyan...hehhe)



NO. 7:
Ang taong walang kibo, ay kino COMATOSE.
(angeeee)



NO. 8:
Huli man daw at magaling, still,,,huli parin....
(waheheh)


NO. 9:
Habang may buhay, may pag-asa.
(Pero pag wala ng bigas tiyak mamamatay ka....)




NO. 10:
Aanhin pa ang damu kung butil ng bigas ang hanap mu????
(Take mu vang kainin yung grass instead of rice???...think...hehehe)





NO. 11:
Matalino man daw ang matsing.....
MAS matalino parin si GLORIA....
(wahahaha)





No. 12:
Kung anu ang puno, sya ang bunga...
katulad ni GLORIA kagaya sa ina nya....
(heheehe..mafagkamalan vah....)





No. 13:
Nasa ky GLORIA ang awa,
at ang tao ang mga kawawa....(huhuhu)




NO. 14:
Huwag kang magtiwala kahit kanino, Just lyk GLORIA, stranger kc sya eh...
(manloloko fah! charz...wahehehe)




I AM SORRY NOH????





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jessica joyce

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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:37 pm

Praying for 10 Pesos
Sa loob ng simbahan ng Quiapo, isang batang pulubi ang mataimtim na nanalangin sa Diyos.

Pulubi: "Panginoon kung maaari po sana ay bigyan ninyo ako ng sampung piso dahil gutom na gutom na lang po ako."

Narinig sya ng isang pulis na kasalukuyan ding nagsisimba at bumilib sya sa katatagan ng bata sa pananampalataya sa Diyos. Sa kanyang habag ay dumukot sya ng limang piso at iniabot sa bata na ang sabi: "Amang, narinig ng Diyos ang panalangin mo at heto tanggapin mo ang perang ito at ibili mo ng pagkain".

Tumingala ang bata sa pulis, kinuha nya ang limang pisong iniabot at muling yumuko para manalangin: "Panginoon, salamat po sa pagdinig ninyo sa aking panalangin, pero sana naman po sa uli-uli wag na ninyong pararaanin pa sa pulis, kasi malaki na ang bawas".




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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:38 pm

ulo
pre:san makikita ang may pinakamalaking ulo ng tao.................sagot:di kung nasaan yun taong may pinakamalaking sumbrero......



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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Thu Nov 20, 2008 7:57 pm

huwaaaw!

Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sat Nov 22, 2008 7:32 am

lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sun Nov 23, 2008 5:49 pm

Very Happy
wow..
ganda
naman
ng
comments
nio
naappreciate
q..

todo
effort
aa..

hahe..
joke



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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sun Nov 23, 2008 6:43 pm

Sari-sari
1. Street Vendor: 'Bili na kayo ng Relo!!! Gold Watch ito!!! Pag

namuti, White Gold!!! Pag huminto, Stop Watch!!!

2. GF: Hu...hu...hu. ..Bakit natin ginawa ito? Hindi na ako Virgin at

dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!!!
BF: Ano? Isang beses lang ah!!!???
GF: Bakit...Hindi na ba natin ulitin mamaya???

3. Couple Talking:
Wife: Hon...Paki fix naman ilaw natin sa labas.
Husband: Hellooo...Electrici an ba ako???
Wife: Eh di paki gawa na lang hagdan natin.
Husband: Hellooo...Karpinter o ba ako???

Umalis si Husband...Pagbalik gawa na lahat

ng sira sa bahay. Tinanong nya si Wife kung

sino gumawa ng trabaho.


Wife: Kasi kanina...A man saw me

crying...sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay,

so he offered to help in exchange of

either sex or bake ako ng cake.
Husband: So...pinag bake mo siya ng cake???
Wife: Helloooo...Baker ba ako???

4. Husband: Lagi na lang tayo away...Mag hiwalay na lang tayo!!!
Wife: Sige...mag hati tayo ng mga anak!!!
Husband: Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!
Wife: Sus!!! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!!!

5. In Front of NURSERY WINDOW
Friend: Pare... pag laki ng anak mo...am sure magaling sya

mag drive.
Ama: Bakit Pare...malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi... Kasi kamukha nya ang Driver nyo.


6. Husband came home from Chruch...suddenly lifted his wife and

carried her.
Wife: Why??? Did the Pastor told you to be romantic like this???
Husband: No!!! he told me to carry my cross!!!

7. Friend: Wow Pare...ganda ng sapatos mo ah.
Husband: Oo...Surprise gift ng Kumare mo yan.
Friend: Surprise??? Bakit...Ano okasyon?
Husband: Wala...Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin yan

kagabi.

8. HEALTH ADVISORY
'Beer contains female hormones and can turn men into women.'

After 5 Pints...Men becomes

talkative... unreasonable. ..irritable. ..cry for nothing...and urinate

while sitting.'

9. Wife: I'm warning you!!! Parating na Husband ko in one Hour!
Handsome Visitor: Wala naman akong ginagawang masama ah?
Wife: Kaya nga!!! Kung may balak ka...Gawin mo na!!!

10. Wife: Himala!!! Aga mong umuwi ngayon!!!
Husband: Sunod ko lang utos ng Boss ko. Sabi nya 'GO TO

HELL' kaya ito uwi agad ako!!!

11. Wife: Labs...may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na

to...Let's make Love.
Husband: Heh!!! Tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising

bukas...buti ikaw hindi na.


12. Population Policies of the Countries
China: Stop at 1 child.
Singapore: Stop at 2 child.
Philippines: Stop at 4 am.

13. Russian: We're first in the Space.
USA: We're first in the Moon.
Erap: We'll be the first in the Sun.
USA: You can't go there...you' ll be burn.
Erap: We're not stupid...We' ll go there at night.


14. Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag NAUTOT?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: Not me.




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arianne



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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:17 pm

student and teacher forbiden sex?
isang araw nag lalakad ang estudyanteng si justin teu nang makita niya ang crush niyang si ms. crespo
justin teu: good morning mam
ms.crespo: good morning to you too, looking good to day huh?
justin teu: yes mam
ms.crespo:would you like to go to my house justin? i'll teach you science cause i noticed have low grades in this subject.
justin teu: oh sure mam(nag-isip si justin ng mga malisyosong bagay kay ms.crespo)
nang pumunta na sila bahay ni ms.crespo pumunta sila sa kwarto ng guro.
ms.crespo: so justin do you know our next lesson?
justin teu: i know, i believe its the reproductive system
ms.crespo: you're right justin were gonna talk about the reproductive system or the study of sex.
justin teu: sex?(isip agad kantot)
ms.crespo: yes justin, can you point to me where you reproductive sytem is?
justin teu: uhh.... sure mam(inisip niya ngayon ang chance niya na makipag kantutan sa kanyang guro at alam niya na magugustuhan ni ms.crespo ang ari niya)
linabas ni justin ang kanyang patotoy at nagulat si ms.crespo
ms.crespo: oh may gad!! what are you doing justin!!!??
justin teu: ms.crespo i love u! mahal kita! alam kong msama ito pero hindi ko na maitatago ang pagmamahal ko sayo!! walang makakahinto ng pagmamahal ko sayo..
ms.crespo: no justin but.. i have a boyfriend already...
justin teu: i don't care anymore pls let's just do it..
ms.crespo: okay justin...
tapos sinirado ni justin ang ang ilaw tapos nag hubad silang dalawa at humiga sa kama
justin teu: ms.crespo are you ready??
ms.crespo: i am, but pls let me do it first
justin teu: first?
ms.crespo: yes, pls turn over first and do crawling position
justin teu: yes mam(nagtaka siya bakit)
maya maya nang nka position na sya, may na ramdaman siyang matigas na parang papasok sa kanyang puwetan.
justin teu: ARRRAAY!!!!!!!!
biglang napatayo si justin at binuksan ang ilaw

nakita niya na may ari ang kanyang napakamahal na guro
justin teu: anak ng p**a!!!!
ms.crespo: justin, what's the matter?!?
justin teu: ANO YAN!!!!! bakit ka may tite!!(gulat sa laki ng tite)
ms.crespo: didn't you know girls also have a penis like structure??
justin teu: di moko maloloko niyan!!!! BAKLA ka!! BAKLA! BAKLA!
ms.crespo: okay, i guess i can't hide this, pero nakita mo na ako at sabi mo mamahalin mo ko kahit anu mang yari!!
justin teu: pero hindi sa BAKLA!!
ms.crespo: pero mahal din kita!! akala ko isa ka lang ordinaryong estudyante pero iiba ka! gawin na natin justin, masarap din ito kahit sa puwetan
justin teu: ayoko nga!!
tumakbo si justin papunta sa pintuan pero napansin niya na nakalock ito
ms.crespo: it's too late justin. you have seen me. don't worry this won't hurt a lot
justin teu: HUWAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!


YAN TULOY NA RAPE SI JUSTIN!!!! Alam niyo na, huwag magmahal kapag hindi ka sigurado
Spoiler:
 
lol! lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:18 pm

Isang araw nag-kuwentuhan ang dalawang mag-kaibiganJuan: Pare pano ba malalaman kung virgin ang isang babae?Pedro: Simple lng pare!!!! kapag UMARAY!!!!!!!KINAGABIHAN pinapunta ni juan ang kanyang gf sa bhay, dali-dali niya itong ipinasok sa kwarto at pinatay ang ilaw!!!Juan: AHHH.......uuhhhhhhh...Gf: Aray.....juan ang sakit!!! tang-ina!!!!Juan: hehehhe.....VIRGIN!!!!!!dali-dali nitong binuksan ang ilaw upang tingnan!!!!!Gf: tang-ina ka JUAN, ilong ko pa dinali mo!!!!!!!!!ngekkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!\

lol! lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:19 pm

jack and jill
jack and jill went up the hill to f**k and suck each other but stupid jill forgot the pill and now they have a daughter lalalalalala....

lol! lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:23 pm

wow kate ..


amazing...
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:26 pm

ang saya!!!
haha
lol! lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:31 pm

father vs. sakristan
nagpapayabangan cna father at sakristan kung ilang tsika babes na and dumaan sa kanilang mga kamay.

father: para magkaalam alam na, bukas, pagkatapos ng misa, isang pinto lang ng simbahan ang buksan mo. Tapos, pwesto tayo sa may pintuan. Lahat ng dadaang babae, kapag 'nakuha' ko na, ang sasabihin ko ay "ping". kapag 'nakuha' mo na rin, sasabihin mo ay "pung".
sakristan: oks father. Hehehe... tingnan natin kung cno ang mas matulis...

the next day, after the mass, pumusisyon ang dalawa sa may simbahan. may dumaan na seksing babae.

father: ping!
sakristan: pung!

lumabas tatlong hot babes..

father: ping! ping! ping!
sakristan: pung! pung! pung!

halos bawat lumalabas na babae sa simbahan, sasabihin ni father "ping" at follow-up si sakristan ng "pung". Close fight ika nga. Hanggang dalawang babae na lang ang natitira sa loob ng simbahan at mataimtim na nagdadasal. Pinagpawisan ng malamig ang sakristan.

maya-maya dumaan ang dalawang babae sa pinto.
father: ping! ping!

sakristan: walanghiya ka father!!! nanay at asawa ko yun!!!




winner: FATHER ... hehehe.....
lol! lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Idiot Jokes   Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:33 pm

Sexy star/ bold star
isang araw me isang bold star ang name nia ay anne

habang ngshoshooting sila ng siya ay nakahubad eh meron isang lalaki na nakakita sa kanya......

pagkatapos ng shooting niyaya siya ng lalaki na lumabas sila ay pumunta sa isang bar na puro lalaki ang sumasayaw at siya lang ang iisang babae

nag-iinuman sila.....kaya lang nilagyan nung lalaki ung beer ng babae ng pampatulog kaya ayun nakatulog at nag ito ay makatulog ito ay dinala nung lalaki sa kanyang bahay agad niyang nilock ang pinto at dumiretso sa kanyang kwarto kasama ang sexystar.. agad-agad ng naghubad ang lalaki at hinubaran na niya rin ung sexystar dinilaan niya ang boobs at puke nito pagkatapos fininger niya ito ginawa niya ito ng maraming beses.......tapos vinideo niya pa ito at ikinalat sa youtube yun na yun......




the end....
lol! lol! lol!
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